Let's be real here for a minute. The daily news has been filled with trauma and the darkest examples of human nature and destruction. As a trauma therapist with three decades of work under my belt, even I feel shocked by what the worst humans among us are doing. The despair and rage that the more sensitive among us are feeling are very real.
The rapid-fire stream of negative news has thrust many of us into a bout of learned helplessness. In the famous (and cruel) experiment that identified this behavioral pattern, dogs were shocked at random. At first, they worked to try to avoid the electric shocks. Eventually, as this proved to be impossible, the dogs gave up and lay down, accepting that they were going to keep being harmed no matter what they did.
Being exposed to so many traumatic news items leaves us feeling overwhelmed and disempowered to change anything. The horrors happening around us have begun to feel inevitable and uncontrollable.
That being said, it is crucially important that we not become desensitized to human suffering or lose sight of the possibility of a more humane society and existence. We must continue to work for justice and human decency. We may want to completely bury our heads in the sand, and we certainly need to take breaks from the negative news cycle to remain grounded and sane, but we must not tune out from the suffering of our fellow humans completely.
On the flip side, if we become buried by our own grief about the problems surrounding us, there is no way to affect positive change. Our fire is extinguished and our voices are silenced. The joy and positive impact we could share with the world becomes buried with our spirit.
Finding and experiencing joy in these times is a rebellious act. We have to stay in touch with the beauty and the good in the world so that we never lose sight of the things we are fighting to save and promote. We also must work to stay grounded and mentally well even when it feels like the negativity in the world is pulling us under.
All this negativity must be balanced with positive thoughts and activities. To do this, we must actively work to counter-balance what is happening around us with things that bring beauty, joy, fun, and healing in order to remain strong and grounded.
With this in mind, let me present my own daily practice of creating a WHIMSICAL TO-DO LIST. Like many of you, the tasks on my plate as a mother and business owner are overwhelming and seem never ending. To fight the entropy, keeping an endless to-do list is a necessity. However, when I focus too much on what is practical I end up losing sight of my "whys." The reason for the tasks on my traditional to-do list is to create a beautiful life for my loved ones while promoting healing and growth in my community.
My solution has been to create a completely separate document where I continuously add the things I want to see or experience that will bring whimsy to my life. These things are usually simple, quick and easy. Perhaps there's a new seasonal drink at your local drive-thru coffee place that you heard about and want to try. Maybe your favorite artist is releasing a song and you remind yourself to go listen. It could be astronomical - taking time to notice the full moon, or a meteor shower. Finding some time on a rainy day to read a good book with a hot cup of tea under a blanket. Sticking your feet in the ocean on the first warm day in the springtime. Snuggling your pet. Marking your child's recent growth upon the door jamb. Setting aside five minutes to listen to the birds. Reconnecting with a friend you have lost touch with.
Identifying these little bright spots, and reviewing your progress in prioritizing them, will improve the quality of your life. Putting whimsical items
on a to-do list helps you to acknowledge their importance - and these things are truly the highest priority. They are the things that make life worth living.
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| The noses that must be "booped" - an item on my daily Whimsical To-Do list |
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